Post by longtrail on Mar 20, 2008 14:53:44 GMT -5
Preparing and Eating Crow
My comma isn’t working!
We know that actual crow tastes a lot like chicken and is prepared in somewhat the same manner. And over all it tastes pretty good. Or so I have been told.
However ….. there is the other sort of crow that most of us have eaten at some time or another . And will no doubt eat again before all is said and done. The proverbial crow.
As with any recipe… certain steps have to be followed:
First… one needs to admit he or she actually needs to eat said crow. This is probably the most difficult part for a lot of us. It is only natural to want to avoid this unpleasant experience even in a private setting…. But eating this type of crow has to take place in public!!! For all to see and hear!!!! Or the whole eating crow thingy has no purpose!!!!
There are a couple of signs that help us recognize our need to partake in said crow.
One sign… commonly known…. which suggests the need for one to eat crow…. is the occasional hitting of oneself on the forehead with heel of hand. This often happens from once… to many times before the actual preparation begins.
Another dead give away is….Chanting the obvious… “Oh man what the **** did I say that for?” The repeating of this chant actually prepares the throat for the soon delivered delicacy.
The more it is chanted… the easier the swallowing……….. Not!
I have learned that in order for it to be convenient for me to eat an occasional crow ….. I raise my own so I have all I need and I never fall short of them.
It’s all a matter of supply and demand you know. .
I raise them in a pen under my computer desk for easy access. I feed them nasty little comments I have made and horrible little thoughts I have had. They do quite well as I never seem to run out of fodder for them.
Heaven forbid I should have to go hunt for one! It could take forever! And my ***hole status would last much longer than necessary. I just reach under my desk… grab one by the neck… and start stuffing.
There is no need to remove the feathers of the proverbial crow ….. as it defeats the purpose of making the meal as distasteful as possible. Hopefully we will remember to avoid the need to eat another one in the future. Not!!!
The affect is even better if you shove the crow down your neck against the direction of the growth of the feathers. No need to remove claws or beak as they should catch painfully in the throat and neck as you try to gag them down… adding much to the discomfort of the experience.
When you do manage to eat that crow .. you might be surprised to find that unlike the real crow that tastes similar to chicken this crow has a distinct after taste similar to feet !!!!!!.
You know….. that taste you get after pulling your foot out of your mouth!!!!
Sincerely Longtrail
Ps. Don’t forget to floss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!